We all know that parenting is not for the feint of heart, but parenting during a pandemic takes it to a whole other level. I had just started to feel like myself again after having baby #3, then the world shut down. I wake up stressed and anxious, and it just doesn’t go away. While some days are better than others, overall it’s just plain hard. I sometimes fear my attitude is going to rub off on my girls. That they only thing they will remember is how sad mom was. Too often we shy away from the not so good feelings, so I share this to let you know if you are struggling, you are not alone.
As parents we put lots of pressure on ourselves to be the best we can be. To grin and bare it. To adjust and go with the flow. And you know, it’s somewhat understandable. We want our children to feel safe and stable. We want them to know they can always come to us. We want our home to be a place they feel comfortable in. But life can throw curve balls, and when it does I struggle, but I have started to remind myself that it’s O.K.
It’s O.K. to not be O.K.
Instead of hiding my feelings, I try to talk to my girls about them. Like a few days ago when I was just not feeling it. I mean I love my kids, but being with them basically 24/7 since March has started to ware me (as well as them) down.
Yesterday, everything set me off. Each question was like nails on a chalkboard. All the little whines grated at my ears. I was quick to get angry, and just not pleasant to be around. Finally I shouted “please just stop!” The girls jumped and looked at me wide eyes. Que the guilt. I took some deep breaths and I explained Mommy was having a hard day and I apologized for getting angry. I told them snapping at them wasn’t O.K., but that it was alright that I was struggling. We then talked about what I could do in the future when I started feeling overwhelmed.
- take 5 deep breaths
- scream into a pillow
- play a song
- hug it out
This pandemic for sure has me feeling like I am just barely treading water. It’s like my mental health takes two steps forward one day then, by the end of the day it’s taken five long jumps back (usually thanks to the news and social media, which I try to stay away from). I wish I had some magic “this will make everything better” cure, but I don’t. All I can say is that if you are struggling I see you, and I am here for you.