Dear Breastfeeding,
I think you better sit down, we need to talk.
Breastfeeding, I want to break up.
There, I said it, and you know what it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
We have been through a lot together, and and at first I really enjoyed our time together. Cuddling up with my baby being able to feed her was an amazing feeling. Yes, you made me feel like a super women. I had to return to work, and was worried about our time apart. I didn’t want our relationship to suffer, plus pumping was no fun (but doable if need be). Once summer started, and my teaching job came to an end I gladly continued our relationship as my little girl grew and grew.
Eventually, we took a break. I think it was a mutual feeling, as you saw that we didn’t need you anymore. We said a slightly sad goodbye, and continued with our lives.
A few years later you found your way back to us. I had a new little girl, and once again you made me feel amazing. Watching her nuzzle up to me was great. Sure I could do without the multiple night wakings, but it was worth it. This time, since I had transitioned to a SAHM I didn’t have to worry about pumping and I was thrilled. Our relationship was going to thrive!
But, something changed. While I didn’t need to pump, I still did, in case we ever needed to be apart for a feeding. The thing was, my daughter had grown so attached to you, that a bottle was unacceptable. A sippy cup wouldn’t do. Not even a normal cup.
Nothing but straight from the source.
I tried everything I could. Â Different bottles, different people feeding her, different positions. Â Everything. Â But it just ends in her crying, and me crying as I pour another hard pumped bottle of milk down the drain. Â So I gave up trying for a bottle. Â It was just us.
Can you see how this makes me feel? I love you, and what you do for us, but I am feeling smothered. We are together all the time. In most healthy relationships people spend time away from one another. That doesn’t happen. Trying to plan doctor appointments or dance classes around an ever changing schedule is exhausting. Going out to dinner with friends? Â Nope, that isn’t likely since I have to be there to feed my daughter before bed. What I wouldn’t give for her dad to be able to give her a bottle.
So can you see? Do you understand why I want to break up? I know, I know, that I may sound selfish. I know that so many women would love to have the relationship we have, but this is how I have been feeling. I feel it only fair that you know.
With that said, our relationship isn’t just us. It includes my daughter, and she isn’t ready to break up yet. She really loves you, so I will carry on. When she is ready though, so I am I, and we will be saying goodbye.
~Danielle~
**Please note:  I know there are many moms out there who struggle with breastfeeding.  Some exclusively pump, some decide formula is the right choice.  If you had your heart set on breastfeeding, but it just didn’t work, I’m sorry. I can imagine how hard that must be.  This post is not meant to be a “breast is best” or make other feel poorly about how they choose to feed their baby.  Mothering is hard, and we all need to support each other.  So know, no matter how you feed your baby, I support your decision.  Only you know what works best for you and your family.**